Once Upon a Time

I love the fact that my daughter, about to turn 7, has never been into the whole princess thing.  She's a rough and tumble kinda chick.  She likes sports, climbing up trees and chasing her 10 year-old brother around the house (actually, she'll chase him anywhere for that matter).  She likes Disney movies, but not so much where the girl is yearning to be rescued.  She digs girl power, and I like that about her.

Funny enough, before she was born, I always fantasized about having a daughter to play "tea party" with and throw lavish fetes for her stuffed animals.  Such a stereotype, right? 

This got me to thinking about the slew of fairy tales I grew up watching, and wondered: "Why don't we get to see what happens to Sleeping Beauty, Snow White or Cinderella (just to name a few) after they've been rescued from their bleak predicaments?"  Simple.  Who wants to see that!?  That's what foreign movies are for, right?

If cameras kept rolling, or animators kept animating, you'd come to find out that Hercules never flushes, he passes gas in bed, and leaves his toenail clippings right next to the toothbrush.  Ariel just won't stop yapping,  she's put on a few extra pounds and wears nothing but baggy sweatpants that cover her all the way down to her... what do you call them?... Feet.   And where are those pesky little talking creatures when your house needs some sprucing up?  Don't get me started.

I hate to sound Wicked, but the truth is, neither Prince Charming nor Cinderella really exist.  We don't really need to look to fantasy for proof.  Remember Lady Di?  How can you not.  Her prince charming wasn't so charming after all, was he?  He fancied someone else who didn't fit the standard, so he had to fake it. The world couldn't tolerate an "un-royal" pairing. 

How do we get caught up in this ideal?  Perhaps men and women become addicted to the romance of it all.  Our parents' expectations, the excitement of The Big Day, the invitations, the cake, the party, the honeymoon.  We see the ceremony as the happy ending rather than the true beginning.

And so, we wake up one day to the realization that our beautiful, sparkling carriage has turned into a pumpkin.  A perfectly good and decent pumpkin. But still a pumpkin.  Pie anyone?

The beauty is that we are all pumpkins.   Whether we're single, starting a relationship or wearing the proverbial ball-and-chain, we're pumpkins looking for romance and passion.  But these emotions have to be anchored in truth.  A truth we find by showing up and actively participating.  Not only in the ceremony, but for the rest of the relationship.

Like Peter Pan, we have to grow up eventually.  And growing up means achieving a deeper understanding of who we are.  Being genuine and not feeding into the expectations of that little prince or princess living deep inside us. 

I've learned a great deal about myself through my children.  Thanks to my daughter's personality, strength of character and lack of interest in playing damsel in distress, I've learned to rethink my own preconceived hopes and dreams for both her and my son.   Now, I simply try to focus on making sure they stay true to who they are and not just become the people I once hoped they'd turn out to be.  So, when they're ready to leave the nest, I'll look to the heavens, close my eyes and Wish Upon a Star.  A wish of hope.  Hope that I've helped them learn how to find their own happiness from within.  The main ingredient, I believe, to living Happily Ever After.